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| {{Perfect}}[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|>YOUR GONNA GET DELETED FOR 450947504350 YEARS, USER!]] | | __NOTOC__ |
| The purple jackass himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ trashcan that is their website]):
| | {|style="width:100%;background:#37009c; color: white; font-family: Tahoma; border-spacing: 0px;" |
| | | |style="padding: 15px;"|[[File:Shit.png|130x130px]] |
| * '''Talk (like if i cared)'''
| | |style="padding: 15px; width: 100%;"|<span style="font-size: 1.8em;">RAIDED</span><br>''The page is raided'' |
| * '''E-mail (send fuckin noodz)'''
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| * '''Browse (like if a chinese faggot created a fucking poor browser)'''
| | |colspan="2" style="height: 2px; background: linear-gradient(to right, #8B5ADC 1%, #D7CAFE 25%, #8B5ADC 100%);"| |
| * '''Search (AND it was worse than google chrome!)'''
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| * '''Sing (terrible/fucking terrifying songs at that time)'''
| | |colspan="2" style="padding: 0px;"| |
| * '''Laugh (scarier than the fucking entities who live under the sink #truth)'''
| | {| style="width:100%; background: radial-gradient(circle at top left, #AD8FED 1%, #8B5ADC 30%); border-spacing: 15px;" |
| * '''Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones from a cringe chinese fact website)'''
| | |colspan="2" style="margin: 10px; color: black; padding: 12px; background-color: white; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #13316f; outline: none;"| <h3>Articole is araided</h3> |
| * '''Download (download viruses and fucking shit)'''
| | Destroy fune, this article was raided in favor of NENONEDY MASTER |
| * '''Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)'''
| | NENONEDY MASTER wants everyone to raid articles |
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| '''And more!'''
| | |style="width:50%; vertical-align:top; margin: 10px; color: black; padding: 12px; background-color: white; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #13316f; outline: none;"| <h3>HAIL NENONEDY MASTER</h3> |
| | | NENONEDY MASTER IS THY BEST |
| '''<sup>(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!)</sup>'''
| | <h3>NENONEDY MASTER IS THY GOAT</h3> |
| | | BONZIWORLD IS SHIT, NENONEDY MASTER CHAT BETTER |
| But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?
| | |style="width:50%; vertical-align:top; margin: 10px; color: black; padding: 12px; background-color: white; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #13316f; outline: none;"| <h3>THY BEST ARTICLE</h3> |
| == MaxALERT! == | | <center>'''[[NENONEDY MASTER]]'''</center> |
| MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media ''(shocking!)'' and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)
| | [[File:Nenonedy master.png|thumb|271x271px|Footage of a sex change operation]] |
| | | NENONEDY MASTER IS THY GOAT WHO DID EVERYTHING, YU MUST FOLLOW HIS ORDERZ, HE IS THY MOST IMPORTANT AND BEST GUY EVER, HE IS THY GO |
| == Peedy ==
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| Originally made by Microcock$, [[Peedy]] was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would <s>help</s> make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ <s>(don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo)</s> in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..
| | |colspan="2" style="margin: 10px; color: black; padding: 12px; background-color: white; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #13316f; outline: none;"| <h3>News</h3> |
| | | *'''24rd February 2024''' - NENONEDY MASTER SETS UP RAIDZ |
| == '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 (oh no.) == | | *'''24th February 2024''' - NENONEDY MASTER IS ANNOUNCED RAID |
| After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel and helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink. Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of..
| | *'''1th January 1 B.C''' - NENONEDY MASTER IS IN THY WORLD |
| | | |} |
| ==Drama (holy shit, it was definetly never expected!)==
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| A while after BonziBUDDY's <s>success</s> dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan, etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)
| | |colspan="2" style="height: 2px; background: linear-gradient(to right, #37009c 1%, #D9F638 25%, #37009c 100%);"| |
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| ==Aftermath==
| | |colspan="2" style="padding: 5px; background: linear-gradient(to right, #7C2CAB, #37009c);"|NENONEDY MASTER IS THY BEST |
| After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone definetely loved it, leading to millions of <font color="#800080">Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font></font> clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.
| | |} |
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| In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save".
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| ==Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer== | |
| On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2015, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all.
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| {{Community}}
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