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[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|"Hello There!"]]
[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|>let me rape ur pc zaddy Administrator]]
The purple gorilla himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple ape/monkey who would roam around your desktop and be your "Best" buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ website]):
The purple jackass himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple faggot who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ trashcan that is their website]):


* '''"Talk'''
* '''Talk (like if i cared)'''
* '''E-mail'''
* '''E-mail (send noodz)'''
* '''Browse'''
* '''Browse (AND it was worse then google chrome!)'''
* '''Search'''
* '''Search (AND it was worse then google chrome!)'''
* '''Sing'''
* '''Sing (terrible songs at that)'''
* '''Laugh'''
* '''Laugh (scarier then slenderman #truth)'''
* '''Tell Facts'''
* '''Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones at that)'''
* '''Download'''
* '''Download (AND it was worse then google chrome!)'''
* '''Schedule'''
* '''Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)'''


'''And more!'''
'''And more!'''
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'''(ᴺᵒᵗᵉ⠘ ᵀʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ⸴ ᴴᵉ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘ!)"'''
'''(ᴺᵒᵗᵉ⠘ ᵀʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ⸴ ᴴᵉ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘ!)"'''


But how did this purple ape start out?
But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?
== MaxALERT! ==
== MaxALERT! ==
MaxALERT AKA '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 1.0 Was the Former Variant and a Prototype version of '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>'''. It had a unique blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/scareware/malware and hacking/cheating news, which will help you be your very own companion to this day, but its original program was ''Lost media'' and never made its way to existence.
MaxALERT AKA '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence, but its original program was lost media ''(shocking!)'' and never made its way to the WorldWide Womb.


== Peedy ==
== Peedy ==
Originally made by Microsoft, Peedy was an MsAgent (Microsoft Agent) that would help you in the early 2000's with Microsoft Word. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and <s>stole</s> ''borrowed'' the sprites for Peedy and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 2.0, a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites forever, so in early 2000 they offcially released       
Originally made by Microcock$, Peedy was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would <s>help</s> make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ <s>(don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo)</s> in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..      


== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 ==
== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 (oh no.) ==
wip, feel free to edit
After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel and helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink. Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of..


== Drama ==
== Drama (holy shit, it was definetly never expected!) ==
A while after Bonzi buddy's success, people started noticing things like: pop up ads, errors (which were fake), having their browser being overridden by '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''', etc. It came out that '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' was spyware, and light malware. They got in a lawsuit, and eventually discontinued somewhere around 2003.
A while after BonziBUDDY's <s>success</s> dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan, etc. It came out that '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). They got in a lawsuit, and eventually discontinued somewhere around 2003 (ez win gg).


== Aftermath ==
== Aftermath ==
After they officially shutdown in 2005, a fan created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' for download, and people memed the living hell out of this purple gorilla. A decade later, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone loved it, leading to millions of Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font> clones, still being made to this day.
After they officially shutdown in 2005, a potential war criminal created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially Vargskelethorfags). A decade later, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone definetly loved it, leading to millions of Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font> clones being reproducted by manchildren, still being made to this day.


== Extra/Other Programs Created by '''''Bonzi Software'''''™ ==
== Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer ==
 
On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2015, Vargskele""thor"" uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all.
=== Internet <font color="#ffee00">Alert '99</font> ===
An Antivirus, Developed as a Software in 1999 to protect from Internet Viruses and Malware.
 
===Internet <font color="#ff0000">Boost '99</font>===
A Basic Internet booster, Developed as a Software in 1999 to Make your PC God speed instead.
 
===Voice <font color="#0000ff">E-Mail 4.0</font>===
A E-Mail tool, Developed as a Software in 1999 to Create and Send All Kinds of stuff like music, images, recorded messages in SHIT Quality and even more.
 
=== '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' obscure sprites===
wip, feel free to edit.

Revision as of 13:16, 11 July 2023

BonziBUDDY is a stub or is unfinished.
You can help by editing it.
>let me rape ur pc zaddy Administrator

The purple jackass himself. BonziBUDDY is a CGI purple faggot who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to Surf the internet!™. He could (as listed on the trashcan that is their website):

  • Talk (like if i cared)
  • E-mail (send noodz)
  • Browse (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
  • Search (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
  • Sing (terrible songs at that)
  • Laugh (scarier then slenderman #truth)
  • Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones at that)
  • Download (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
  • Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)

And more!

(ᴺᵒᵗᵉ⠘ ᵀʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ⸴ ᴴᵉ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘ!)"

But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?

MaxALERT!

MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY ™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence, but its original program was lost media (shocking!) and never made its way to the WorldWide Womb.

Peedy

Originally made by Microcock$, Peedy was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would help make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on BonziBUDDY ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by Bonzi Software Co..™ (don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo) in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..

BonziBUDDY ™ 3.0 (oh no.)

After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel and helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink. Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of..

Drama (holy shit, it was definetly never expected!)

A while after BonziBUDDY's success dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan, etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). They got in a lawsuit, and eventually discontinued somewhere around 2003 (ez win gg).

Aftermath

After they officially shutdown in 2005, a potential war criminal created a link called bonzi.link that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially Vargskelethorfags). A decade later, BonziWORLD was released and everyone definetly loved it, leading to millions of BonziWORLD clones being reproducted by manchildren, still being made to this day.

Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer

On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2015, Vargskele""thor"" uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all.