Kosher energy drink

Revision as of 00:06, 10 March 2024 by Fune (talk | contribs) (Created page with "thumb|150x150px|The Can thumb|343x343px|Mentioned in Exodus KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® (or KOSHER ENERGY DRINK™ in the Hebrew Bible) is a magical Jewish elixir used by Moses, Jesus and Muhammad. It is produced by God/Jabba (in Hungary) and distrubuted to every developed (NON MUSLIM) country in the world, including the Israeli province of Palestine which is a rightful Jewish colony. The first KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® is rumoured...")
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KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® (or KOSHER ENERGY DRINK™ in the Hebrew Bible) is a magical Jewish elixir used by Moses, Jesus and Muhammad. It is produced by God/Jabba (in Hungary) and distrubuted to every developed (NON MUSLIM) country in the world, including the Israeli province of Palestine which is a rightful Jewish colony. The first KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® is rumoured to have been created by Adam after tasting the forbidden fruit and mixing it with Caffeine. This angered god, as his own creation has bested him by creating an elixir more holy than anything God could possibly create, so Adam and Steve were kicked out of the garden of Eden and started Amazon to distribute their energy drink. Later, a Lithuanian Demigod created Hungary and https://kosherenergydrink.com/ to serve as the headquarters of the operation and Amazon was sold to some bald guy. The country of Hungary serves no other purpose.

The Can
Mentioned in Exodus

The Third Temple

The KOSHER ENERGY DRINK Co plans to build the Third Temple in Gineikiai, Lithuanian Oblast, Belarus. The Third Temple will include the Burj Khalifa and a Yacht in the middle of the huge uninhabited Lithuanian Oblast/desert. The Third Temple will be used to transmit advertisements for the KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® in the direction of the center of the Milky Way galaxy in hopes that an intelligent civilization will view the broadcasts and invest their resources in the Company after tasting the KOSHER ENERGY DRINK® and experiencing the feeling Jesus, after consuming the beverage, felt as his finger fell off and dissolved into some water making it look like wine.