account creation will be re-enabled sometime soon i promis
BonziBUDDY
The purple jackass himself. BonziBUDDY is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to Surf the internet!™. He could (as listed on the trashcan that is their website):
- Talk (like if i cared)
- E-mail (send noodz)
- Browse (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
- Search (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
- Sing (terrible songs at that)
- Laugh (scarier then slenderman #truth)
- Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones at that)
- Download (AND it was worse then google chrome!)
- Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)
And more!
(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!)
But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?
MaxALERT!
MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY ™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence, but its original program was lost media (shocking!) and never made its way to the WorldWide Womb.
Peedy
Originally made by Microcock$, Peedy was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would help make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on BonziBUDDY ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by Bonzi Software Co..™ (don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo) in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..
BonziBUDDY ™ 3.0 (oh no.)
After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel and helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink. Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of..
Drama (holy shit, it was definetly never expected!)
A while after BonziBUDDY's success dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan, etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). They got in a lawsuit, and eventually discontinued somewhere around 2003 (ez win gg).
Aftermath
After they officially shutdown in 2005, a potential war criminal created a link called bonzi.link that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially Vargskelethorfags). A decade later, BonziWORLD was released and everyone definetly loved it, leading to millions of BonziWORLD clones being reproducted by manchildren, still being made to this day.
Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer
On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2015, Vargskele""thor"" uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all.
