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Cosmic
Cosmic (Real name: Kelvin Frederick Walker) is THE skid of BonziWORLD, exceeding even Jabba in some contexts. Being a script kiddie, he is a perfect example of one: He copy-pastes Bonzibot templates, uses seperate throwaway variables for everything, can't multiply two variables together, gathered all of his JavaScript knowledge from BonziWORLD exploits, uses hundreds of variables for fancy letters, uses a shitty reverse proxy for a home-hosted BonziWORLD server, thinks typing /tree into the Windows Command Prompt makes you a hacker, ad-homs you if you call out his shit code, threatens to "hack" you for doing so, e-dates 13-year-old girls, and so on and so forth.
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This user is a lolcow? Frickin' saved.
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| Kelvin Frederick Walker | |
| Residence | Ottawa, Canada |
| Works | BonziWORLD """Enhanced""", Bluepanel Client, countless shitty easily patched XSS exploits, and nothing else. |
| Aliases | Cosmic Xploitz, CosmicStar98, Cosmic |
Lord of Computers Kelvino first appeared on bonzi.world's Discord server in May 2021 to show off his 1337 H4X3RFUCKZ exploits, only to become yet another laughing stock (or nuisance, depending on the individual) for the server, with relics such as the Bluepanel Client (which was literally just an inspect element reskin of a private room). He then failed to prove he knew enough JS to multiply variables together and chimped out.
He has since been forgotten, and his projects followed the same fate.
He fled the BonziWORLD community 2 weeks ago (only time will tell if this is genuine or just a self-revival stunt like seamus does all the time). He also joined the wiki as CosmicStar98.
His Projects
Bluepanel Client
Literally just an inspected reskin, as mentioned before. Apparently had such glorious features as the ability to give his buds pope on classic.bonzi.world, which was probably just reskinning the bonzi of choice with the pope skin. Bluepanel had nothing going for it so the client was forgotten.
If you've ever heard someone say the word "Bluepanel", it's more likely that they were referring to Fune's tool of the same name used to rape small unpatched BW servers.
BonziWORLD Enhanced
Yes the skiddo even made a BW server that literally no one cared, cares, or will ever care about it, and was also forgotten. The only thing it had was a Windows 7 theme, giving it an even more skiddish feel to it. It also featured an "Arcade", which was nothing but a bunch of stolen/pirated games of questionable legality. If this sounds familiar, that's because this feature was later added to an equally horrible piss-stenched BonziWORLD server.
CosmicBOT
A horrid JS abomination with 500 throwaway variables. All letters of the special fonts were individual variables, which got mocked by EVERYONE in BonziWORLD when it was revealed. Not only that, it was forked from JABBA, so Cockmick couldn't even make a shitty bot on his own. Cosmic wanted to run his horrid little abomination on bonzi.ga when it was revived in 2022, which obviously got denied. After that he tried his luck with Seamus which worked. Cosmic also tried integrating CosmicBOT into BWR which would be an absolutely horrible idea and would've ruined BWR (sadly it failed because Cosmic can't code). It wasn't very relevant but Cosmic shilled it so much thinking that the gofags and logojews would cum over a generic discord bot in bonzibuddy form, that it made its way here.
The GroomPanel Incident (AKA Amelia's moment of relevance)
One fateful day in early 2023, back before Fune broke up with Amelia and the great war period was in it's full swing, Fune and Amelia decided it would be funny to try catfish Cosmic. They didn't have expect it to work as Amelia was 13 and Cosmic was 16 or 17, and everyone knew this. Not even trying, Amelia decided to tell Cosmic she secretly hates Fune and she immediately got into Cosmic's inner circle. Cosmic proceeded to dump his whole plan about "collapsing Fune's empire from the inside" to a girl he knew for 5 minutes. It gets better though! Cosmic looked on DoxxWORLD to find Amelia's doxx and notices it's gone, and complains. After under an hour Cosmic wants Amelia to be his girlfriend, and playing along she said "Yes". Cosmic himself said "wow we've got quite the age gap" (over 3 years). Despite this, he asks to see her face. Eventually, she asks him for his city and full name and the retarded incel doxxes himself.
A few days later Cosmic finds a picture of Amelia, and obviously being a lonely incel he decided to save the picture to jerk off to or remind himself of the one time a girl had the stomach to talk to him. Cosmic also screeched in all caps after his grooming kept getting called out, and now he shelters himself from any Warsaw member.
[Note: this is still a WIP. Make sure to add screenshots and the VC video]
External links
- GitHub
- Old Pastebin - There used to be a lot of shit here but Cockmick deleted most of it in a fit of rage.
- Pastebin - Cockmick's current pastebin profile.
- cosmicstar37 - Current Discord account. Has friend requests disabled like a pussy, but just in case he enables them and/or you see him on any BonziWORLD-related Discord servers.
- Cosmic#5345 - Old, abandoned Discord account.
- BonziWORLD Enhanced - His slow as shit, skidded BonziWORLD server. Was discontinued on 2024/01/09 with the v1.04 update.
