BonziBUDDY: Difference between revisions

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{{stub}}
{{Protected|it's perfect and I doubt anything significant will happen that needs to be added}}[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|>YOU'RE GONNA GET DELETED FOR 37 WENDY'S GIFTCARDS, USER!]]
[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|"Hello There!"]]
The purple jackass himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ trashcan that is their website]):
The purple gorilla himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple ape/monkey who would roam around your desktop and be your "Best" buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ website]):


* '''"Talk'''
* '''Talk (like if i cared)'''
* '''E-mail'''
* '''E-mail (send fuckin noodz)'''
* '''Browse'''
* '''Browse (like if a chinese faggot created a fucking poor browser)'''
* '''Search'''
* '''Search (AND it was worse than google chrome!)'''
* '''Sing'''
* '''Sing (terrible/fucking terrifying songs at that time)'''
* '''Laugh'''
* '''Laugh (scarier than the fucking entities who live under the sink #truth)'''
* '''Tell Facts'''
* '''Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones from a cringe chinese fact website)'''
* '''Download'''
* '''Download (download viruses and fucking shit)'''
* '''Schedule'''
* '''Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)'''
* '''Make you pay for his shitass software! (you better fuckin' do it!)'''


'''And more!'''
'''And more! (useless bonus features)'''


'''(ᴺᵒᵗᵉ⠘ ᵀʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ ˢᵒᶠᵗʷᵃʳᵉ⸴ ᴴᵉ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ˡᵉᵃʳⁿˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵒᵘ!)"'''
'''<sup>(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!)</sup>'''


But how did this purple ape start out?
But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?
== MaxALERT! ==
== MaxALERT! ==
MaxALERT AKA '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 1.0 Was the Former Variant and a Prototype version of '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>'''. It had a unique blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/scareware/malware and hacking/cheating news, which will help you be your very own companion to this day, but its original program was ''Lost media'' and never made its way to existence.
MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media ''(shocking!)'' and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)


== Peedy ==
== Peedy ==
Originally made by Microsoft, Peedy was an MsAgent (Microsoft Agent) that would help you in the early 2000's with Microsoft Word. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and <s>stole</s> ''borrowed'' the sprites for Peedy and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 2.0, a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites forever, so in early 2000 they offcially released       
[[File:Peedypng.png|thumb|{{Greentext|CHECKMATE EN PISSANT or something...}}]]
Originally made by Microcock$, [[Peedy]] was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would <s>help</s> make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ <s>(don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo)</s> in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..      


== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 ==
== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 (oh no.) ==
wip, feel free to edit
After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel, helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink, and kept fucking your ear with his terrible membership (how fun)! Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of.. well,


== Drama ==
==Drama (holy shit, this was definitely never expected!)==
A while after Bonzi buddy's success, people started noticing things like: pop up ads, errors (which were fake), having their browser being overridden by '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''', etc. It came out that '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' was spyware, and light malware. They got in a lawsuit, and eventually discontinued somewhere around 2003.
A while after BonziBUDDY's <s>success</s> dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan ('''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>'''), etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)


== Aftermath ==
==Aftermath==
After they officially shutdown in 2005, a fan created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' for download, and people memed the living hell out of this purple gorilla. A decade later, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone loved it, leading to millions of Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font> clones, still being made to this day.
After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone definitely loved it, leading to millions of <font color="#800080">Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font></font> clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.


== Extra/Other Programs Created by '''''Bonzi Software'''''™ ==
In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save", Motherfuckers shat out "INSPIRED BY BONZIKILL" shits, these got popular and what makes people say that bonzibuddy is a virus, leading to the bonziworld.org website!


=== Internet <font color="#ffee00">Alert '99</font> ===
==Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer==
An Antivirus, Developed as a Software in 1999 to protect from Internet Viruses and Malware.
On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2014, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all (thank god).


===Internet <font color="#ff0000">Boost '99</font>===
{{Community}}
A Basic Internet booster, Developed as a Software in 1999 to Make your PC God speed instead.
 
===Voice <font color="#0000ff">E-Mail 4.0</font>===
A E-Mail tool, Developed as a Software in 1999 to Create and Send All Kinds of stuff like music, images, recorded messages in SHIT Quality and even more.
 
=== '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' obscure sprites===
wip, feel free to edit.

Latest revision as of 13:26, 4 November 2024

This page has been protected.
The reason given is: it's perfect and I doubt anything significant will happen that needs to be added.
>YOU'RE GONNA GET DELETED FOR 37 WENDY'S GIFTCARDS, USER!

The purple jackass himself. BonziBUDDY is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to Surf the internet!™. He could (as listed on the trashcan that is their website):

  • Talk (like if i cared)
  • E-mail (send fuckin noodz)
  • Browse (like if a chinese faggot created a fucking poor browser)
  • Search (AND it was worse than google chrome!)
  • Sing (terrible/fucking terrifying songs at that time)
  • Laugh (scarier than the fucking entities who live under the sink #truth)
  • Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones from a cringe chinese fact website)
  • Download (download viruses and fucking shit)
  • Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)
  • Make you pay for his shitass software! (you better fuckin' do it!)

And more! (useless bonus features)

(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!)

But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?

MaxALERT!

MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media (shocking!) and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)

Peedy

>CHECKMATE EN PISSANT or something...

Originally made by Microcock$, Peedy was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would help make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on BonziBUDDY ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by Bonzi Software Co..™ (don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo) in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..

BonziBUDDY ™ 3.0 (oh no.)

After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel, helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink, and kept fucking your ear with his terrible membership (how fun)! Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of.. well,

Drama (holy shit, this was definitely never expected!)

A while after BonziBUDDY's success dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan (BonziBUDDY), etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)

Aftermath

After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a link called bonzi.link that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, BonziWORLD was released and everyone definitely loved it, leading to millions of BonziWORLD clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.

In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save", Motherfuckers shat out "INSPIRED BY BONZIKILL" shits, these got popular and what makes people say that bonzibuddy is a virus, leading to the bonziworld.org website!

Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer

On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2014, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all (thank god).


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