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BonziBUDDY: Difference between revisions

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m Protected "BonziBUDDY": Excessive vandalism ([Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (expires 22:17, 2 April 2024 (UTC)) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (expires 22:17, 2 April 2024 (UTC)))
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{{Perfect}}[[File:BonziBUDDY.png|thumb|>YOUR GONNA GET DELETED FOR 450947504350 YEARS, USER!]]
{{Protected|it's perfect and I doubt anything significant will happen that needs to be added}}[[File:Jolly Buddy.png|thumb|>YOU'RE GONNA GET <s>GROUNDED</s> <s>DELETED FOR 37 WENDY'S GIFTCARDS</s> JOLLY PRESENTS THIS CHRISTMAS, USER!]]
The purple jackass himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ trashcan that is their website]):
The purple jackass himself. '''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''' is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to '''Surf the internet!'''™. He could (as listed on the [https://bonzi.link/ trashcan that is their website]):


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* '''Download (download viruses and fucking shit)'''
* '''Download (download viruses and fucking shit)'''
* '''Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)'''
* '''Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)'''
* '''Make you pay for his shitass software! (you better fuckin' do it!)'''


'''And more!'''
'''And more! (useless bonus features)'''


'''<sup>(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!)</sup>'''
'''<sup>(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!) (or some promotional bs)</sup>'''


But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerfucking journey?
But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerraping journey?
== MaxALERT! ==
== MaxALERT! ==
MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would ""save"" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media ''(shocking!)'' and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)
MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would "save" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media ''(shocking!)'' and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)


== Peedy ==
== Peedy ==
[[File:Peedypng.png|thumb|{{Greentext|CHECKMATE EN PISSANT or something along those lines...}}]]
Originally made by Microcock$, [[Peedy]] was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would <s>help</s> make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ <s>(don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo)</s> in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..       
Originally made by Microcock$, [[Peedy]] was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would <s>help</s> make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on '''''Bonzi<font color="#40e000">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by '''''Bonzi Software Co.'''''.™ <s>(don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo)</s> in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..       


== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 (oh no.) ==
== '''''Bonzi<font color="#800080">BUDDY</font>''''' ™ 3.0 (oh no.) ==
After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel and helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink. Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of..
After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel, helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink, and kept fucking your ear with his terrible membership (how fun)! Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of.. well,


==Drama (holy shit, it was definetly never expected!)==
==Drama (holy shit, this was definitely never expected!)==
A while after BonziBUDDY's <s>success</s> dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan, etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)
A while after BonziBUDDY's <s>success</s> dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan (the '''<font color="#800080">purple</font>''' little shit), etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)


==Aftermath==
==Aftermath==
After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone definetely loved it, leading to millions of <font color="#800080">Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font></font> clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.
After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a [https://bonzi.link link called bonzi.link] that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, [[BonziWORLD]] was released and everyone definitely loved it, leading to millions of <font color="#800080">Bonzi<font color="#eb6b34">WORLD</font></font> clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.
 
In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save".


In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save", Motherfuckers shat out "INSPIRED BY BONZIKILL" shits, these got popular and what makes people say that bonzibuddy is a virus, leading to the bonziworld.org website!
==Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer==
==Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer==
On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2015, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all.
On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2014, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all (thank god).


{{Community}}
{{Community}}

Revision as of 17:32, 17 November 2024

This page has been protected.
The reason given is: it's perfect and I doubt anything significant will happen that needs to be added.
>YOU'RE GONNA GET GROUNDED DELETED FOR 37 WENDY'S GIFTCARDS JOLLY PRESENTS THIS CHRISTMAS, USER!

The purple jackass himself. BonziBUDDY is a CGI purple gorillafuck who would roam around your desktop and be your ""best"" (<- misinformation) buddy to Surf the internet!™. He could (as listed on the trashcan that is their website):

  • Talk (like if i cared)
  • E-mail (send fuckin noodz)
  • Browse (like if a chinese faggot created a fucking poor browser)
  • Search (AND it was worse than google chrome!)
  • Sing (terrible/fucking terrifying songs at that time)
  • Laugh (scarier than the fucking entities who live under the sink #truth)
  • Tell Facts (terribly crafted ones from a cringe chinese fact website)
  • Download (download viruses and fucking shit)
  • Schedule (your cp stash deleting session? he'll fuckin' schedule it!)
  • Make you pay for his shitass software! (you better fuckin' do it!)

And more! (useless bonus features)

(Note: This is computer software, He actually learns from you!) (or some promotional bs)

But how did this purple niggywiggy start his computerraping journey?

MaxALERT!

MaxALERT AKA BonziBUDDY™ 1.0 was the earliest and most libtarded version of Sir Ape. It had an ""unique"" blue parrot character and he was supposed to be an Antivirus, and deliver virus/ransomware/spyware/pissware/whatever news, which would "save" (kill) your computer's entire existence. Even though the MaxALERT character was found in 2018, it's original program is considered lost media (shocking!) and has never made its way to the WorldWide Womb. (yet)

Peedy

>CHECKMATE EN PISSANT or something along those lines...

Originally made by Microcock$, Peedy was an MS Agent (little shits people jack off to these days) that would help make you more distressed in the early 2000's with Microsloth Turd. Joe and Jay Bonzi saw this and stole the sprites for Peepee and slapped them on BonziBUDDY ™ ""2.0"", a new software at the time made by Bonzi Software Co..™ (don't worry, they're worse then Nintendo) in 1999 as freeware. But eventually they realized they couldn't use Peedy's sprites for the rest of eternity (what a shame!), so in early 2000 they officially released the dickslurping monkey known as..

BonziBUDDY ™ 3.0 (oh no.)

After their sad faggotry regarding the green bird, they moved on to a sadistic, fatass purple ape that told jokes worse than Yo Mama's entire YouTube channel, helped you write e-mails to the rats that live under your sink, and kept fucking your ear with his terrible membership (how fun)! Although this one was (somehow!) different, as it caused a teeny tiny bit of.. well,

Drama (holy shit, this was definitely never expected!)

A while after BonziBUDDY's success dickriding journey, people started noticing things like: pop-up ads, errors (which were blatantly horrible), having their browser being overridden by Thy Creation of Satan (the purple little shit), etc. It came out that BonziBUDDY was spyware (HOLY SHIT??), and light malware (HOLY SHIT!!). Bonzi Software eventually got into a lawsuit with COPPA, and BonziBUDDY was discontinued somewhere around 2004. (ez win gg)

Aftermath

After Bonzi was discontinued in 2004, a potential war criminal created a link called bonzi.link that had every version of BonziBUDDY for download, and people milked the living hell out of this purple gorilla (especially spergs coming from Vinesauce's and Vargskeletor's anus). In August 2016, BonziWORLD was released and everyone definitely loved it, leading to millions of BonziWORLD clones being reproducted by manchildren, which are still being made to this day.

In 2022, Joe and Jay Bonzi, being desperate for money, decided to hop on the NFT bandwagon and shat out BonziBUDDY NFTs. which those nfts, are actually scams, since you can get NFTs for free by just right-clicking on them and clicking "Save", Motherfuckers shat out "INSPIRED BY BONZIKILL" shits, these got popular and what makes people say that bonzibuddy is a virus, leading to the bonziworld.org website!

Vargskelethor and The Ape of Lucifer

On the unfortunate day of February 2, 2014, Vargskele""thor"" (or formerly known as exinthevatican) uploaded a video on his JewTube channel of him physically raping a Windows XP virtual machine with every shitware he could locate (even toolbars!). At around 1:53, he sadly decides to unleash the purple ape into his kumpooturg, absolutely melting it's performance to a reeking -2 Fat turds Per Second. As his VM crumbles down, the PC Swatter says one last joke before Varg deletes System32 and ends it all (thank god).


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